Did you know that otter’s penises are shrinking? I didn’t. Until I was informed of that by my scientist girlfriend. I can no longer look at otters the same way again. Science ruins everything.
I used to enjoy life. The future promised to us by Back to the Future was so close! That all ended the day I started going out with a scientist.
I’m now a cynic. I don’t trust anything that isn’t peer reviewed and even then, what’s the impact factor of the journal? I even know some journals by name now! About 50% of the time I can say “Congrats on getting published in PNAS” without laughing.
Nights out with scientists are different to nights with any other group of people. While most people like to leave their work behind them, scientists take theirs with them and just get slightly louder while they discuss it. It must be how Robin Ince feels when he goes for dinner over at Brian Cox‘s, but instead of talking about the Higgs Boson the topics range from the plight of the buff tailed bumblebee to dinosaur biomechanics. Who knew dinosaurs could be so boring? I didn’t. Until I started dating a scientist.
Peer review is a twisted system. It’s a place where people can be just downright mean to others and get away with it. It seems that the point of peer review is not just to ensure that only the best research gets published in the best journals, but to make those whose work isn’t good enough feel stupid and embarrassed that they thought their puny intellect was capable of appearing in a journal as glorious as the almighty [redacted]!
I must admit, it hasn’t ALL been bad, I no longer think everything gives me cancer (who knew The Daily Mail wasn’t a reliable source?!) That’s right, this blog PROBABLY won’t cause cancer.
I now look forward to being told that my blog doesn’t ask a question, didn’t have a hypothesis and had no supporting data. I haven’t even cited anything. I’m ok with those inevitable criticisms. If they get me down I just have to keep reminding myself, only two more years until we get hoverboards.
Author
David Fortune: davidfortune23[at]gmail.com
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